What to Expect When Attending a Sex Party

Oh no. These aren’t your regular college sex parties. We’re talking about well-organized events where people come to mingle and, yes, have sex.

The concept of a sex party is, for sure, strange and unknown to many. But things aren’t as racy as you might imagine them to be. These parties have rules, and consent is the most important thing.

Absolutely nothing can happen without you allowing it. And absolutely everything can stop happening when you decide. These are the kinds of parties that will satisfy anyone’s curiosity. And you get to meet pretty great people in the process too.

What Is a Sex Party?

When you think of sex parties, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Probably a wild, chaotic orgy, where people can just hop on one another.

Here’s why that’s wrong.

To get straight to the point, sex parties are private events. However, the sex part that happens can be entirely public. Attendees are allowed to engage in sexual activities with each other — yes, in front of other people. Ultimately, it’s your choice if you’ll let others watch or not.

Contrary to popular belief, the organization of these events is at a very high level. Or at least it should be. Nobody wants to go to a sex party and not know what they’re getting themselves into. That’s why organizers have to be very clear about rules.

Each party can have a particular theme or activity that makes it unique. Parties can be BDSM, casual, group sex, or revolve around specific kinks. What’s most important for organizers to specify is rules about consent and safety.

If you’ve never been to a sex party before, you need to do some research first. Read the invitation carefully and contact the organizers themselves in case you have any questions.

Do You Have to Have Sex With Other Attendees?

It’s common to think you’ll have to have sex with everyone attending. Thankfully, that is not the case.

Different people have different reasons to attend. If other people can go just to watch, then so can you! Being a voyeur is a great kink to have at parties like this. However, watching doesn’t need to turn you on (but doesn’t it?). You can just go because you’re curious.

Some people will go thinking they’re ready to have lots of sex. That can quickly change once they arrive. Sometimes these parties aren’t what you expect, and that’s okay.

So, it’s not exactly mandatory to engage in any activity with others. You should still be careful when picking a party you want to go to. Why? Some require at least some level of participation. If you don’t feel like you’re ready for and comfortable with that, you might want to skip them.

Consent Is a Must!

Consent is the number one rule at every sex party as it is in every situation that involves sex.

That is what makes these parties a safe space. Consent needs to be given for every sexual activity, but you can, of course, revoke it at any time you choose. Sometimes you’ll think you’re up for something but then change your mind.

Similarly, you have to know that others can revoke consent in the same way. There are no hard feelings. Other guests aren’t there to bring your sexual fantasies to life. That’s why these parties, and their guests, shouldn’t be treated as such.

Setting your boundaries before coming can be helpful too. That way, you’ll know what you’re comfortable with. Just like you expect others to respect your limits, you should respect theirs too.

With such a strong accent on consent, these parties don’t seem so scary after all.

It’s Not All About Sex

We’re sure you didn’t imagine sex parties as places you’ll find your new BFF at. But they can be.

Maybe you have a group of friends that aren’t that sex-positive. It can be awkward to talk to them about sex-related topics. So, it’s only natural that you’ll wish for friends that can understand you. But how about a whole community of people who have similar interests? That sounds great to us.

People who attend these parties are mostly sex-positive, openminded, polyamorous, or simply curious. That’s why some say that these parties feel like community events.

Much like every party, there will be some sort of entertainment. So think of your regular house party, except occasionally there are people having sex in front of everyone. And nobody judges them! Everyone just minds their business.

Most of the time, participation isn’t a requirement. Go to this party and enjoy it like any other.

Do People Have Sex With Everyone?

Of course not. You don’t go out and flirt with everyone you see on the street, right? The same logic applies here too.

It depends on who you decide to attend a party with. Most people will have sex with those they came with them. Some are couples looking for other couples. Some are people who like having sex while someone else is watching. You’ll come across a lot of different kinds of sex-havers.

There will be people you’ll find attractive, of course, as well as those you won’t. You decide who you’ll approach and start talking to. But at the same time, people will be approaching you. Asking for consent or just chatting you up.

If you come with a partner, be ready for people to ask if they can join in on the action. It’s up to you and your partner to decide if you’ll let sexy strangers participate.

Summary

We bet none of these things was something you expected to learn about sex parties. Why not consider attending one? Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it won’t kill you.

Sex parties are a safe space. They’re a place where you get to explore freely and meet like-minded people. Or, you know, if you just want to have sex, that’s perfectly fine too.

As with almost anything sex-related, there are a lot of misconceptions and stigma around sex parties. We hope that this article served its purpose in showing you that not everything is always what it seems.

Safety Tips before you use a horse dildo

Saying that horse dildos are slightly larger than regular ones would be an understatement. If you have never tried one of the huge dildos, then you might want to slow it down and read some of the safety tips before you start horsing around. 

Descriptions of Horse Dildos Regarding Size, Design, and Materials Used

For all of those who have never seen a horse dildo, they are unique sex toys designed to represent male horse genitalia. The size is what’s considered extra-large, and it is usually over nine inches. It’s not rare to find ones that are around seventeen inches! 

Even though these toys are a replica of the horse’s tool, that doesn’t mean people wanting to try them desire to ride the horse from the other side. It is all about pushing the limits and enjoying the “fullness” these toys can offer. Besides having an option to pick size and shape, you can also find a variety of colors available. 

When it comes to design, these realistic dildos are both long and thick. The top of the toy is flatter than with regular dildos. Another fantastic addition to these types of dildos is that you can pick firmness. Available options some companies offer are firm, medium, or soft. 

What is more important is that materials used to create them are high-quality and mostly silicone-based (sometimes you can find medical PVC). That means they are safe to use and won’t cause any health issues. So be sure to find the one that suits your body so you won’t have to worry about allergies. 

Finally, most large dildos have a suction cup base, which allows them to stick to most surfaces. That way, you won’t have to trouble yourself with finding a perfect spot for your new toy. 

Gauging the Level of Readiness for the Size of Horse Dildos

We cannot stress enough how vital it is to prepare yourself before you try riding a horse dildo. For beginners, it is essential to start slow and take your time. Especially if you never had an experience like this before. If you ordered the toy online, it might come as a shock when you realize how huge 15 inches can be. So it is important to read the product description of the product that you are eyeing for. Most websites like LoveGasm provides detailed product descriptions including the dimensions of the toy.

Whether you plan on using them vaginally or anally, many worry about permanently “stretching” their body parts. Of course, that is not a possibility since our bodies are rather elastic, and everything will return to normal after a couple of days. 

To ensure that your fun time feels great, you will need to find a suitable position that will allow you to experiment with these kinds of toys. Any position that will enable you to spread out comfortably is great. You can start by lying on your back and placing a pillow underneath so you could prepare for the insertion. Some even suggest placing the dildo on the ground and squatting down over it. 

But most importantly, relax and take your time. Your body will get used to the size of the toy when you start. Whatever you do, don’t force yourself or try a simple quicky with it.

Preparation for Something Bigger Like a Horse Dildo

Once you’ve prepared mentally for meeting your new stallion, it is time for physical preparation. Needless to say, the first thing you need to do is make sure your toy (or toys) is clean. 

After you’ve finished cleaning, you can start with the foreplay. Since these dildos are massive, you will need to prepare yourself, and foreplay is essential. Another excellent way to warm yourself up is to start with smaller dildos. Trust us when we say that you don’t wish to start with the big one. Furthermore, if you are looking for some anal play, butt plugs might be the best option you have. 

Typical foreplay can involve butt plugs or anal beads (if you are planning on using toys for anal sex), or regular-sized dildos for vaginal. 

Lastly, try to find a position that you’ll be comfortable in. That way, you’ll have more fun and enjoyment when you’re finally ready for your stallion.

Lubricant Use Is a Must

The last thing you need to know is that using a lubricant is a must. There is no other way around it, and trying out horse dildos “dry” will cause you discomfort or maybe even pain. To avoid that, you will need to find a suitable lubricant. The type of lube you will use mostly depends on whether you plan on using the toy anally or vaginally. Moreover, if you have an allergy, you should pick your lubricant accordingly. 

Thicker lubricants that will last longer are perfect for larger toys. You can also find a specially designed lube for anal sex. Silicone-based lubricants are known to last longer and don’t require frequent application. 

There is also an option to get two-in-one lube with silicone combined with water-based lube. However, be sure to check out if the lubricant is compatible with the toy’s material. You can get lubes based on water because they are compatible with any type of sex, as well as all materials and condoms. 

Silicone lubes are excellent for people with more sensitive skin since they are hypoallergenic. However, they aren’t really compatible with silicone toys. Finally, oil-based lubes can cause infections, and they aren’t fun to clean up. So whatever you pick, you need to make sure it’s safe for your body. 

Summary

Extra-large dildos have been gaining popularity in the past couple of years. Many companies sell these toys in the shape of a horse penis. The size is almost always over nine inches, and it’s not rare to find even a seventeen-inch stallion. 

If you plan on trying out one by yourself, you should prepare before giving it a shot. And remember — use a lot of lube!

5 American sex norms that Europeans will never understand

Europeans tend to see a lot of American ideals and behaviors as bizarre. In particular, they aren’t wild about our politics and our food (though they love our television and our movies). And when it comes to sex? Well, Europeans tend to view us as the land of the free, home of the batshit crazy. Below are some of the biggest sexual WTFs Europeans have about America.

1. Extreme violence in the media is fine, just don’t show a nipple.

According to reports, the average American child will see 200,000 violent acts and witness 16,000 murders on TV by the time she is 18. Not only that, but the violence is getting more brutal and sadistic, and it often goes unpunished. In video games like Grand Theft Auto, players can run over sex workers, and the violence in Call of Duty has been linked to teen suicides. While this is considered fine and normal, showing the naked or partially naked human body on TV is considered extremely taboo. When Justin Timberlake accidentally ripped off a piece of Janet Jackson’s costume during the Super Bowl halftime show, revealing her nipple for a fraction of a second, this not only caused a moral outrage that lasted for days, but the FCC tried to fine television network CBS $550,000 for broadcasting “indecency.” The FCC ultimately failed, but not first without going all the way to the Supreme Court. The nip slip incident became the most-searched-for thing on the Internet in 2004, and CBS actually forced Jackson to apologize to Americans. “I am really sorry if I offended anyone, that was truly not my intention,” Jackson said.

A Dutch friend who now lives in London also remarked on this disconnect between violence and nudity: “The movie Frida with Salma Hayek is rated R in the U.S. because of nudity, but in Holland it was 6 (for children 6 and older). But many violent movies are 16 in Holland and PG/PG-13 in the U.S. Why are boobs worse than death? How do boobs affect people negatively? Are they scary? Do they make people do bad things? I wanna know!”

2. Our puritan prudery.

Sex is everywhere. We can’t even sell a cheeseburger in the U.S. without overtly bonerrific images that are, frankly, confusing. Are we supposed to eat our food or have sex with it, Carl’s Jr.? And yet, we’re also so prudish that Attorney General John Ashcroft once spent $8,000 of taxpayer cash to cover up a statue’s breasts. We have spent billions on abstinence-only education programs that spread misinformation and shame teenagers into thinking sex is dirty and will ruin their lives forever. And instead of curbing the number of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections, the opposite happens. Compared to European countries, most of which boast comprehensive sex ed, easy access to birth control and universal healthcare, the U.S. has alarming teen pregnancy rates—41.5 per 1,000 people, as reported by the United Nations in 2009. By contrast, the Netherlands had a teen birth rate of 5.3 per 1,000, Switzerland is 4.3 per 1,000, and Germany is 9.8 per 1,000. Europeans also have have lower STI rates, and far lower rates of HIV/AIDS.

3. Our fear of hugs.

Research has shown that non-sexual physical contact has a profound impact on people’s emotional and physical well-being. Despite this knowledge, and our hyper-sexualized tendencies, America is one of the most touch-phobic countries in the world. A global study on touch rated the United States among “the lowest touch countries studied.” In contrast, the high-touch countries include Spain, France, Italy, and Greece. Some researchers think our fear of platonic touching actually leads to violence, particularly in young males. In one study, American adolescents were shown to touch each other far less and be more aggressive toward their peers compared with French adolescents.

While there are many reasons why Europe has a much lower violent crime rate than the U.S, could a lack of healthy physical connection add to this trend? In 2012, research conducted by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime found that the U.S. had a “homicide rate of 4.8 per 100,000 people compared to only 0.3 per 100,000 in Iceland, 0.7 per 100,000 in Sweden, 0.8 per 100,000 in Denmark and Spain, 0.9 per 100,000 in Italy, Austria and the Netherlands, 1.0 per 100,000 in France, and 1.2 per 100,000 in Portugal and the Republic of Ireland.”

4. Our anti-abortion violence.

Though there have been a few incidents of anti-abortion-related violence elsewhere (in Canada, New Zealand and Australia, for instance), the vast majority of violence occurs right here in the good ol’ US of A. The Department of Justice amended its definition of domestic terrorism to include this type of violence last year, and it includes such incidents as destruction of property, arson, bombings, vandalism, kidnapping, stalking, assault, attempted murder, and murder. In the last 20 years or so, anti-abortion violence has killed at least eight people in the U.S., including four doctors, two clinic employees, a security guard, and a clinic escort. In contrast, approximately ZERO people have been murdered trying to have or facilitate a safe and legal abortion in Europe.

5. Our preference for circumcision.

Though infant male circumcision rates have declined in the U.S. in the last decade or so, circumcision remains one of the most common procedures performed in hospitals (about 1.4 million annually). In Europe, however, circumcision is rare and generally frowned upon. A 2013 resolution called male ritual circumcision a “violation of the physical integrity of children,” and was passed overwhelmingly by the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe. Studies (both formal and informal) have shown that women in the U.S. have strong preferences for circumcised penises, citing “visual appeal” and “sexual hygiene” as reasons for their predisposition. European women, of course, prefer their men with dong-snuggies.

The Hookup Culture in America

There is no doubt that the whole hookup culture in America is having an impact on society. Many young women and men are getting into casual sex every day. Some claim that the entire Western culture is having a significant problem, while others rejoice.

How Is Sex Portrayed in Different Western Media?

People from all over the world are using modern technology and getting their information via the internet, television, and music. Whether we like it or not, the media influences all of us, at least to some extent. However, there is a significant difference between the sex as we see it in the media and sex in real life.

Many TV shows and movies show casual sexual relationships without any real consequences, while many promote something entirely different. The internet, too, is a porn hive, and some of the content can be quite explicit.

In short, not many outlets promote abstinence. The question is — should they?

We all saw people (even fictional ones) having one-night stands, and practicing casual sex so many times that it’s normal. Whether this is the right move or not, time will tell. But there is no doubt that this kind of behavior is almost a standard for many.

Hook Ups vs. Old Dating Habits

Before the whole internet era, people had to date, and they were, let’s be honest, quite conservative. A couple of decades ago, having more than one partner was atrocious, but hooking up with someone today is normal.

Courting that will develop into a relationship is almost dead. Everything is faster now, and many men and women are looking to skip the “boring” part and go straight to the juicy stuff. But the reality is that both ideas have flaws.

Chastity and abstinence were promoted for the wrong reasons. Most people avoided relationships to escape criticism and being scorned by society (and the church). And what can a person do to avoid the whole stigma behind sex other than just wait until they are “ready.”

Over the years, young people showed times and again that they are ready a lot sooner than society and religion claim, and they needed an escape. However, it seems that the whole thing spiraled out of control, and now, we’re at something opposite. People who aren’t having wild sex or hooking up are almost outlaws, and it looks like long-term relationships aren’t that desirable anymore.

What Drives the Hookup Culture?

The whole culture is usually associated with late adolescents in the U.S. Of course, this “movement” doesn’t have to represent sexual culture only, and hooking up can mean anything from kissing to casual sexual encounters.

So, what is the thing that drives the hookup culture? It seems that the answer to this question is both sex and freedom.

High school and college students are sexually active, that’s no secret. But they are probably looking for pleasure without pain. If you engage in casual sex, you won’t have to worry about “catching feelings” in the process. Instead, you can focus on physical pleasure and avoid emotional consequences that can be a part of the relationship. Or so many believe.

For some, it might be an escape, while for others, it is a way of having pleasure and enjoying life. Needless to say, some are tricked or even forced into it while being intoxicated. However, others are looking for a relationship despite everything.

Many adolescents see sex and relationship as two different things, and some people believe that this will lead to further problems. They claim that hookup culture will lead to an inability to form stable and intimate relationships in the future.

The Use of Dating Apps

In the modern era, finding sexual engagement seems easier than ever. Many people seem to skip the whole dating process now that you can contact anyone on the globe. Instead of meeting people in real life, you can chat with them and get to know them without ever seeing them in person.

Today, there are so many dating apps that ease the whole process. Some people say that these dating apps are what created the whole hookup culture. Whether the chicken or the egg came first, there is no doubt that apps like Grindr and Tinder made everything easier.

All you have to do is create a profile, write a little bit about yourself, and start searching for someone with at least similar interests. Once you have found someone you like, you can start chatting and getting to know each other before you meet in person.

The Risk of the Hookup Culture

Many see this kind of behavior as risky and dangerous, and to be honest, there are plenty of things that can go wrong. Without meeting someone in person, you won’t have any idea what they are like. People pretend, lie, and sweet talk online, and reality can be disappointing.

Of course, it would be unfair to ignore the fact that many people are sincere and genuinely looking for a relationship. But either way, being unconscious can have consequences.

Firstly, changing partners and having casual sex can lead to STDs. Casual sex doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but safety should always be a number one priority. Secondly, many people have access to the internet, including predators as well. People can be friendly and kind online, and reality can be the opposite. Casual sex and careless behavior can lead to non-consensual sex and many other problems.

Finally, for some, the whole hookup culture is not working. If the person is looking for a serious relationship, current trends might be problematic. Being denied something you desire or being hurt and emotional can lead to mental health problems like depression.

In reality, for some people out there, hookups are the best thing since sliced bread. But for others, it might turn out to be a nightmare.

11 Surprising Facts About America’s Sexual Behaviors

Wow, to be a paid researcher in America to study the sexual behaviors of Americans. Now that’s an enticing job. Where do I sign up?

Apparently I’d pop on over to Indiana University, as that’s where the latest batch of researchers come from who have something to say about sex in America.

As a part of the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, researchers surveyed a national, representative sample of 5,865 people ages 14 to 94. They recently published some of their initial findings in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

So without further ado, here are 11 surprising facts about sex in America from that survey.

1. Condom use is pretty uncommon.

Only 1 in 4 acts of sexual intercourse are protected by a condom. Condoms are, of course, the most reliable method to avoid sexually transmitted diseases while having sex.

2. Yet condom use is just as pleasurable.

Contrary to popular wisdom, people surveyed said that their sexual pleasure was just as intense with condom use as it was without. This included arousal, pleasure and achieving orgasm.

3. Americans like variety.

The researchers detailed over 40 different combinations of sexual activity when participants were asked to describe their most recent sexual encounter.

4. Men orgasm from regular intercourse most often; women, on the other hand, require more of a variety of sexual acts — which may include oral or vaginal intercourse — in order to orgasm.

While men enjoy sexual variety as much as women, they don’t need it in order to enjoy an orgasm. Women appear to benefit more from such variety in order to make the likelihood of an orgasm greater.

5. Men don’t have a clue when it comes to their partner’s orgasm.

While 85 percent of men reported their partner had an orgasm during their most recent sexual activity, only 64 percent of women reported having had an orgasm. The difference of over 20 percent isn’t accounted for simply because of same-sex relationships.

It suggests men overestimate their partner’s sexual experience, or that women are leading men to believe they orgasmed in order to end the sexual activity earlier.

6. Most teenagers aren’t doing it as often as you might think.

Only 27 percent of teens surveyed said they had intercourse in the past 3 months.

7. More of us try out a gay, lesbian or bisexual activity once in our lives than you might think.

The survey found that 8 percent of men and 7 percent of women identified themselves as either gay, lesbian or bisexual. But this percentage was much lower than the proportion of individuals who had said “Yes” to a question about whether they’ve ever had same-gender sexual activity in their lives. Many people may experiment with such activities, but stick to what feels best for them in the end.

8. You don’t have to be young to enjoy sex.

Older adults report enjoying and engaging in sexual activity nearly as much as younger adults. In fact, the survey found that men in their 50s are having more sex than teenage males.

9. Men give oral sex as much as they receive it.

Contrary to popular wisdom again, men — especially older men — give as much oral sex to women as women give to men. While the difference is greatest in the 20 to 24 year old range (with only 55 percent of men saying they’ve given it in the past year, compared to 74 percent of women), the tables turn as we age. In the 30 to 39 age range, 69 percent of men report having given a woman oral sex, while only 59 percent of women have.

In other age ranges, the differences are far less greater, with only a few percentage points differentiating the two groups.

10. Both men and women masturbate.

The vast majority of people at all age groups masturbate. Yes, men regularly out-masturbate women, with over 80 percent of 20 to 29 year old men reporting masturbating in the past year. But women are no slackers either, with 64 to 72 percent of women in the same age range reporting masturbating in the past year.

11. We all like to brag.

Similar to point #5, more people in the survey said they received oral sex than those who said they gave oral sex. If everyone was telling the truth, these numbers should be within a few percentage points of one another.

Instead, we see many discrepancies. For instance, 70 percent of women claimed to have received oral sex from a man in the 20 to 24 age group, but only 55 percent of men admitted to having given oral to a woman. Sixty-two percent of men aged 40 to 49 claimed they received oral, but only 53 percent of women said they gave it.

Apparently saying you’ve received oral sex is still more attractive than saying you’ve given it.

Understanding Men’s Sex Drive

Do you ever wonder what goes on inside men’s heads? Is it true that they never think about anything other than sex? Are they not interested in romance? We wonder about the same things.

There are so many questions about why men are so casual about sex. They participate in it with random people too, like it’s no big deal. What’s all that about? Truth be told, it’s not even their fault.

Testosterone is to blame. We all have some levels of testosterone in our bodies. Men, however, have a lot more. It regulates a lot of things and helps the production of sperm too. So, it’s not that it only keeps men horny.

In this article, we will debunk the stereotypes of men’s libido and tell you what is really going on.

The Male Sex Drive Stereotypes

You know what they say about men — they only think about sex all the time. Nothing else interests them. Is that really the truth? Let’s take a look at some stereotypes.

The list of stereotypes that surround men and their sex drive is anything but short. They’re portrayed as sex-crazed beings all over media too. Not only that, but the media caters to those stereotypes as well. How? Anime is one example, and we don’t even have to explain why.

Don’t get us wrong — loving sex is completely normal. But do men really think about sex and nothing else all day long? The stereotypes suggest so, but studies show that guys might just be more comfortable thinking about sex and expressing their thoughts.

Some of the other stereotypes include men masturbating more than women, as well as needing less time to orgasm. Have you ever heard that men are “more open to hook-ups”? That is another stereotype — studies show that women are just as open to it, but when approached in safe environments.

Last but not least — are men really less romantic than women? Men have feelings too, and they shouldn’t be looked over. Dudes can definitely be romantic when they want to.

What Is Testosterone?

Testosterone is the so-called “male” hormone, but there is so much more to it than that. Here’s why it’s essential.

Testosterone plays a significant role when it comes to men’s libido. It’s a hormone whose production happens mainly in the testicles. Besides making you horny, testosterone has other vital roles too.

Having healthy testosterone levels ensures:

  • Your male sex organs developing
  • Production of sperm and red blood cells
  • Your voice deepening when you hit puberty
  • Body hair growth

Testosterone levels are the highest in your late teens. After that, they begin their decline. That means that older men have a lower libido than younger men.

Still, that doesn’t mean they lose all interest in sex — it merely means they need some time to get going.

What Are The Causes of Low Libido?

The list of causes of low libido in men is even longer than the list of stereotypes.

Many men experience issues with libido in their lifetime. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, especially when many things can affect it. The loss of libido happens with age, so it doesn’t need to be tied to a medical condition. However, sometimes it can point in that direction.

We know low testosterone levels affect libido, but what about other things? Stress and depression can greatly affect it too. When dealing with mental health issues, it’s best to see a professional. In turn, antidepressants can also take a toll on your sex drive. If you notice that happening, your doctor should be able to offer you an alternative.

Another cause of low libido is chronic illnesses such as high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, and even organ failure. If you’re experiencing sleep problems (like sleep apnea), your sex drive is in danger as well.

Lastly, alcohol and drug abuse can mess up your overall health. That, of course, includes libido. Make sure you do anything in your power to stay at optimal overall health, and a healthy sex drive will follow along.

What Is Erectile Dysfunction?

Many men experience not just low libido but also erectile dysfunction (ED) at some point in their lives.

Simply put, erectile dysfunction is the inability to get an erection or maintain it. That definitely affects your sexual performance. To be frank, it makes you incapable of any kind of performance at all.

Although ED isn’t the cause of any other conditions, it can take a toll on other aspects of your life. It can affect your relationships, self-esteem, and ability to get your partner pregnant. Of course, it’s also very stressful and can cause depression.

That sounds like a big circle of moodiness and stress. Thankfully, it can be treated and managed so visit your doctor on time.

  • Diabetes
  • Heart issues
  • Kidney disease
  • High blood pressure
  • Testosterone deficiency
  • Relationship problems
  • Depression, stress, and/or anxiety
  • Sleep disorders
  • Alcohol and drug abuse

Although ED isn’t the cause of any other conditions, it can take a toll on other aspects of your life. It can affect your relationships, self-esteem, and ability to get your partner pregnant. Of course, it’s also very stressful and can cause depression.

That sounds like a big circle of depression and stress. Thankfully, it can be treated and managed, so visit your doctor on time.

Summary

Contrary to popular belief, not all men are the same. We, as human beings, are all different. Stereotypes of any kind are ridiculous, and so are those of men’s sex drive.

We cannot generalize how men view sex. Some enjoy it more than others, but so do women. Men’s sex drive varies from one individual to another. But there are some parts of it that we can all understand.

A lot of it has to do with testosterone levels, so it’s not exactly all their fault. Low libido and ED are also issues a lot of men face and shouldn’t be shamed for.

The Rise Of Hookup Sexual Culture On American College Campuses

Cultures – sets of widely-endorsed ideas reflected in rules for interaction and in the organization of our institutions – are powerful social forces that shape individuals’ lives. In colleges, “hookup culture” refers to the idea that casual sexual encounters are the best or only way to engage sexually; and the concept also refers to rules of social interaction that facilitate casual sexual encounters and organizational arrangements that support these encounters.

Today, almost all of America’s residential college campuses are characterized by a hookup culture – large and small, private and public, secular and religious, and left- and right-leaning campuses. Students must contend with this culture even if they are not especially sexually active. In fact, many students are not very active. The average graduating senior reports hooking up just eight times in four years; and a third do not hook up even a single time. Individual students can and do opt out of casual hookup sexual encounters, but few can escape dealing with that culture.

The Origins of Campus Hookup Culture

Hookup culture is simply the newest stage in the evolution of sexual norms and behavior in America. Its roots lie in the early city life of the 1920s, the first time in U.S. history that young people routinely socialized in mixed-sex groups beyond the supervision of chaperones. This created intense media interest in “youth culture,” as college attendance became accessible to large swaths of the American population. After a couple hundred years of conflict with higher education administrators, fraternity men starting setting the social tone. Their way of experiencing college life – irreverent, raucous, and fun-oriented – was suddenly the way to experience college. Attending college was linked to the idea of being young and carefree.

The Great Depression and World War II put the brakes on such revelry. Young women initiated “going steady” – monogamous, long-term dating – as a response to the loss of young men to war. Yet going steady, a kind of “premature monogamy,” was both new and short-lived as an ideal for young people. By the 1960s, young people wanted to remain unattached; and meanwhile gay men in urban enclaves were experimenting with a culture revolving around “hookups.” The dangers of AIDs infection slowed down the process by which casual sexual encounters spread into the mainstream for young people, but this process proceeded nonetheless.

In 1978, the popularity of the movie Animal House ratcheted up expectations for college fun. Beer and liquor companies took advantage of the moment, spending millions in the 1980s to convince students that drinking was a mainstay of college life. Starting in 1984, when the U.S. government financially pressured the states to raise the legal drinking age from 18 to 21, control over campus parties was thrown increasingly into the hands of men who occupied large, private fraternity residences in which they could flagrantly break liquor laws. Fraternities again came to dominate the campus social scene. Until today, this remains true on many campuses, but many other factors also reinforce hookup sexual norms on college campuses – including media portrayals of college life, rising individualism, and a halfway transition toward women’s equality. Social and sexual norms originally embodied in fraternities now reign supreme on college campuses.

The Destructive Sense that Hookup Sex is the Only Option

After hearing about hookup culture, many older Americans wonder whether today’s students actually enjoy it. The answer appears to be both yes and no, as I learned from years of fieldwork. About a quarter of students thrive in this culture, at least at first. They enjoy hooking up and adapt well to hookup culture’s rules calling for fun and casual, short-term encounters. At the same time, about a third of students opt out altogether; they find hookup culture unappealing and would rather not have sex at all than have it the way this culture mandates. The remaining students are ambivalent, dabbling in hookups with mixed results. Overall, about one in three students say that their intimate relationships have been “traumatic” or “very difficult to handle.” Many of them experience a persistent malaise, a deep, indefinable disappointment. And one in ten says that they have been sexually coerced or assaulted in the past year.

Notably, my research suggests that hookup culture is a problem not because it promotes casual sex, but because it makes a destructive form of casual sexual engagement feel compulsory. Students who don’t hook up can end up being socially isolated, while students who do engage in this way are forced to operate by a dysfunctional set of rules. Hookup culture encourages a punishing emotional landscape, where caring for others or even simple courtesy seem inappropriate, while carelessness and even cruelty are allowed. At its worst, it encourages young men and women to engage in sexual competitiveness and status-seeking while meeting impossible standards of attractiveness. It privileges immediate pleasure-seeking and heightens risks that students will become either perpetrators or victims of sexual crimes.

Changing Power Structures and Destructive Sexual Norms

Understanding that the forces shaping sexual relationships on campuses are cultural – that problems lie not so much in particular encounters as in hookup culture overall – is the first step toward clarifying what needs to change. Because culture is a type of shared consciousness, many people need to work together to make changes happen. And they can. Especially because of the strong ties in student bodies, campuses can transform themselves faster than one might suspect.

Research shows that today’s young people are more open, permissive, earnest, hopeful for the future, and welcoming of diversity than any other generation in memory. They are well-positioned to usher in the next new sexual culture. But colleges as institutions must change, too. Institutions of higher education need to put substantial resources and time into shifting cultural norms in two ways: promoting casual sexual encounters that involve an ethic of care, and diversifying the kind of sexual encounters that are seen as possible and good. Colleges also need to change the institutional arrangements that give too much power to subsets of students who are most enthusiastic about hookup culture and who benefit from it at the expense of their peers. Doing this may mean disbanding fraternities and sororities as they have existed, because as long as these organizations and their ethics remain power bastions on U.S. campuses, hookup culture will persist.

Talking About Sex Is What Every Relationship Needs to Survive

Why Is It Important to Talk To Your Partner About Sex?

The idea of talking about sex with your partner may sound scary or embarrassing. Many of us want to avoid it at all costs, but we know it’s an integral part of being in a relationship. Opening up and learning about our partner is how we build healthy bonds, and there’s no other way around.

Besides, most people want to feel sexual intimacy with their partners. That’s probably the only thing that can help us to achieve the greatest sexual pleasure possible. Emotional connection and mind-blowing orgasms are what every human being needs to stay mentally healthy. And the only way to get those is to open up!

Why Is It Important to Talk About Sex With Your Partner?

When it comes to sex, communication isn’t optional, but essential. No matter if you’re in a long-term or friends with benefits type of relationship, it’s always a good idea to talk about it. And there are numerous reasons why communication is essential for a sexual relationship to work out.

However, a lot of people find it scary to share their needs, desires, and fantasies with their partners. It means opening up to someone and creating intimacy. And it will probably make you feel exposed and vulnerable in a relationship.

But there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way. Vulnerability plays a significant role in building healthy relationships. It helps us feel more connected with our partners, and to overcome the fear of being rejected. And all of these things are beneficial for your romantic and sex life.

So, talking about sex can make a huge difference in more than one way. It will lead to building trust, feeling accepted, and understood.

There’s one more important thing — talking about sex will improve your sexual experiences. There’s only one healthy way to get what you want from your partner — being open about it.

Besides, you don’t want your partner or you to have some unmet expectations in the relationship. So, communication is what you need to avoid misunderstandings and disappointment.

What to Talk About?

Sex and communication go well together. And there are a lot of topics you should cover during sex talk. So, before you start the conversation, think about what you have and want to share, and what you wish to ask.

The first thing most people want to discuss is what type of relationship they are interested in.  However, you can skip this one and simply be spontaneous. Sometimes, it’s even better that way. But, in case you’re not comfortable with the idea of being in a too serious or casual relationship, you should definitely mention it.

The other important topic to cover is sexual health. You should absolutely ask your partner about their STI status. And of course, you’re supposed to talk about yours, no matter how embarrassing it is. Also, running some tests just to make sure you’re healthy is a good idea.

And it’s also a great idea to mention similar problems that may inflict your relationship or sexual performance. Things like lower back pain or mental health issues may be of importance here. These can make an impact on your sexual activity, and your partner should be familiar with it. It’s also safer to talk about it than to hurt yourself trying to do something you can’t!

If you want to keep safety your priority, you should certainly talk about birth control, and both parties should have a say in this. Besides, leaving your partner to deal with it by themselves is quite selfish. You’re supposed to have a conversation about what type of contraception you want to use, and what’s the safest and most affordable option.

Sharing Your Fantasies and Fetishes With Your Partner

Last but not least, you should share your secret fantasies and desires. And it’s not a bad idea to wait with bringing it up. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable around your partner enough to start this topic. But, it’s still important to cover it at some point. Achieving sexual pleasure is undoubtedly the thing both of you are interested in.

People usually keep their sexual fantasies from their partners out of fear they would be misunderstood. However, the great news is that most of us have them, so there’s actually a big possibility your partner would be up for it! Trying out something new now and then is refreshing and beneficial for your sex life, and everybody knows that.

SEE: Common Sexual Fantasies As Enumerated By Cosmopolitan

That doesn’t mean you should start this conversation with your dirtiest and wildest fantasies. It’s better to start by mentioning something interesting but less shocking. For example, suggesting using some sex toys or having sex in unusual places may be a bit more appropriate. And in case you have a specific fetish, you may want to prepare the field before bringing it up. But whatever you think your partner’s opinion is, you should openly talk about it at one point.

When Is the Right Time to Talk About Sex?

People often think that the right time to talk about sex is the time before, during, or after sex. But, it’s quite the opposite — that is the worst possible time to start this conversation!

When your partner’s in a sexual mood, you should avoid bringing up any of these topics. They may feel like you’re trying to manipulate them into consenting to something they’re not comfortable with doing. Or, even worse, they may come to the conclusion you want to take advantage of them in some way.

Not to mention that they can start feeling insecure about their sexual performance! So, if you want to avoid an uncomfortable situation that may even ruin the entire relationship, you’d want to save a sex talk for a more appropriate moment.

And the best time for this conversation is when you’re relaxed, sitting somewhere, talking about all kinds of things. You can bring it up after one of you mentions something sex-related. When you feel comfortable and ready to open up to each other, that’s when you should start the topic.

What Is Bisexual?

What Counts as Bisexual?

Humans have a strong need to explain everything clearly. However, we can’t do it in every single case. The world isn’t black and white but comes in a variety of colors. Sometimes, it confuses and disturbs us.

Bisexuality is one of these things that don’t fit any box we’re familiar with. And since we’re not sure how to describe or see it, we often come with a banal explanation. For that reason, it’s always a good idea to learn a bit more about things we don’t understand.

Here’s everything you wanted to know about bisexuality.

Who Is classified as bisexual?

Some people have the power to be attracted to both men and women. In general, they are the ones who identify as bisexual. Sometimes, their attraction to people doesn’t even have anything to do with gender and sex.

But it’s not always that simple.

Bisexual people define their sexual orientation in various ways. But, regardless of their way of experiencing and expressing it, it’s often seen as something between being gay and straight. And this type of bisexual definition brings up some questions that are a bit tricky to answer. For instance, where exactly is that middle ground called bisexuality? And where’s the limit between being gay or straight and bisexual?

Of course, people wanted to give a straight and simple answer to these questions. So, today you can even do a test online that describes your sexual orientation. It’s called the Kinsey scale. By answering a few questions about your sexual experiences and behaviors, you can learn where you are on the scale from 0 (purely heterosexual) to 6 (strictly homosexual).

However, human sexuality is a bit more complicated than that. And it shouldn’t be experienced or seen as a number on a scale from 0 to 6. So, it may be simpler to look at bisexuality as something that goes outside of the box. The sexual attraction is something each one of us experiences in our own unique way.

Do Bisexuals Like One Gender Over the Other?

As we mentioned, bi people feel sexual and romantic attraction to people of various genders. Sometimes, they don’t care at all about the sex or gender of the person they’re attracted to. In that case, they may even prefer to identify themselves as pansexuals.

But in other cases, bisexuality has a lot to do with being attracted to masculinity and feminity in one or multiple genders. It’s possible that a bisexual person likes both of these, but prefers one over the other. And sometimes, it can also mean that they prefer one gender over the other. But it’s important to mention that bisexuality comes in a variety of forms. So, no one can come up with a rule that stands for everyone in the bisexual community.

Is Bisexuality Just a Phase?

Some people like to engage in sexual experiments, and they’ve possibly tried out a bunch of things, including sex with the person of the same sex. But this doesn’t classify them as gay or bi. Bisexuality isn’t just sexual experimenting or a phase — it’s rather a part of sexual identity and the way some of us present and see ourselves. It doesn’t necessarily change with time.

Science says our sexual orientation depends on genetics, hormones, and the environment in which we grew up. Furthermore, humans aren’t the only animals that can be gay or bi. That means that it’s not something we can simply choose, or suddenly decide to change.

So, the bi person who settled down with one partner didn’t simply decide to turn gay or straight. Human sexuality doesn’t really work that way.

In most cases, bi folks still present themselves as bisexuals, and the way they express this part of themselves in a relationship varies and depends on many factors.

How Bisexuals Deal With Relationships

Communication is an integral part of every relationship. Sometimes, it’s the only way you can deal with issues and obstacles. Even though bisexuality itself isn’t a problem, it can still cause difficulties in a relationship. For that reason, talking about it is crucial.

However, it can happen that a person isn’t wholly aware of their sexual orientation. That can certainly cause a serious issue in the relationship. Again, talking about these sorts of things and being open-minded is the only solution.

So, if the person is aware and open about their sexual identity and preferences, the relationship can work out. But sometimes, bi people wish to keep the relationship more casual. That means that they should look for partners who are comfortable with it. And finding the right person to hook up with isn’t that simple even in more usual circumstances.

But there’s no reason why a bi person can’t fall in love with someone and be in a healthy relationship. As long as both parties are open and accepting, any relationship can work out. Whether they decide to keep it more casual or to settle down, bisexuality isn’t something that stands in their way.

Sex in Bisexuality

It’s a general opinion that if you’re bisexual, sex can’t be perfect — ever. People think that a bi person always needs more to get sexual satisfaction. Or, even better, some think that they always need to have threesomes to reach sexual pleasure. But these are prejudices, not reality. Bisexuals, too, can have an amazing sexual experience with one partner. (See these threesome sex tips)

However, it can be a bit tricky when they are with someone of a gender they are less attracted to. But this doesn’t have to be a serious problem. If they’re ready to work on it and communicate, they can find the right solution.

And there are more ways they can solve that type of issue. For instance, they can decide to keep a relationship open and casual. Or, they can go with polygamy and find the third partner. And certain sex toys can be helpful and fun to use, like strap-ons, dildos, male masturbators, vibrators, etc.

So, the opinion that bisexuality means being unable to reach mind-blowing orgasms is far from the truth. Again, a certain sexual orientation itself isn’t an issue — it can become a problem only if we see it and approach it that way.

Why Anal Hooks Are The Best for BDSM

Debauchery, thy name is anal hook. Some might say that anal hooks are the most beautifully dangerous culmination of both anal play and bondage play. They are something you work your way up to as they aren’t for the faint of heart. Those who are just dipping their toes in the kink world might find anal hook BDSM play intimidating.

And with good reason! Anal hooks are the ultimate anal toy. And when we say ultimate, we mean it. They leave no wiggle room, offer no flexibility, and can be quite dangerous. Using an anal hook isn’t the same as restricting your partner’s hands and shoving a butt plug or dildo in their ass. Oh, no! That’s far too vanilla.

So beginners beware! But let’s see what makes anal hooks the ultimate BDSM sex toys.

They Make a Killer Leash

Using an anal hook means shoving a ball in the ass. The kicker is, the ball is at the end of a long hook that curves out of your booty. You can use the hook in various ways. Usually, it is hooked up to ropes, a leash, or other bondage accouterments. 

Anal hooks can be both an anal and vaginal torture device. However, anal use is far more common because vaginas don’t have the same grip on the hook as rectums do. 

Because the metal hook is so rigid and massive, inserting and removing the toy puts a strain on anal muscles. The hook restricts movement all by itself, let alone when attached to something else. What’s more, even twitching with an anal hook in your ass is hard. 

That makes anal hooks the ultimate restriction devices. They leave little wiggle room. Every move you make moves or dislodges the hook, which isn’t the most pleasant feeling in the world. That means you’ll do anything to keep the hook from moving, which really makes it the ultimate leash for a submissive.

Doms can rest assured that their subs are going precisely where they want them to when there’s a massive metal hook in their ass. One tug is all it takes to get them on their knees (figuratively).

They Are Versatile

Although similar in shape and form, there are actually a lot of different types of anal hooks out there. The most common one is the stainless steel anal hook with multiple balls. The balls come in different sizes, which adds to the toy’s versatility. 

Most anal hooks are in the shape of a letter J or U. The staple feature is the ball that’s attached to the end. If there’s more than one, the hooks look like anal beads on a long J-shaped steel pipe.

Of course, not all of them have the ball at the end. What’s more, the balls might even be detachable. If that’s the case, make sure to screw them on correctly to avoid having to fish a ball out of the depths of your butt. Still, (lost) ball or no ball, the anal hook will leave you in a predicament. 

Furthermore, some of these gadgets might have a cock ring or even a cock cage attached. That is an extra feature that ensures an even tighter control over the submissive.  Now, just because you use anal hooks does not mean you cannot incorporate other toys anymore. In fact, you can even use dildos, cock rings, or yoni eggs while having sex wearing an anal hook. 

They Are a Walk on the Wild Side

When playing with a risky toy like an anal hook, safety always has to come first. Because they are so rigid and unforgiving, anal hooks require a lot of prep. So don’t be stingy with that lube and make sure you stretch the rim properly. 

Yes, you don’t want to overdo it. A gaping anus might allow the ball to slip out and defeat the entire purpose of the toy. However, just keep this in mind — you are one sharper tug away from having an ass that looks like the Joker’s face. 

It’s also essential to figure out the best anal hook positions that will cause the least amount of discomfort. Open communication between partners is crucial, as both parties have to be aware of potential risks and have a strategy in place.

Since anal hooks can be quite dangerous, if you mix them with whole-body bondage, try to give the tied party some leeway. Consider leaving them an out (a loose knot they can use to escape in case of a dire emergency). Sure, it will diminish the whole feeling of helplessness, but it can prevent severe injuries.

Other safety measures include no double-dipping (seriously, never do that) and using a sex toy cleaner after every session with the toy.

The Importance of Safe Words

Of course, using safe words is the Holy Grail of BDSM. Safewords are your “no questions asked” way out of anything because they demand immediate release. They are the BDSM version of cease and desist.

So before you start any kinky play, make sure everyone involved knows your safe word. 

A Few Parting Words

Anal hooks offer an opportunity to turn your regular play into edge play and spice things up a bit. The perfect balance between anal and bondage, anal hooks are restrictive, versatile, and potentially dangerous. Thus, these toys are rightfully called the best anal toys for BDSM. A delightful tool, both in the eyes of the Doms and the subs, anal hooks are a gift that keeps giving.