Oh no. These aren’t your regular college sex parties. We’re talking about well-organized events where people come to mingle and, yes, have sex.
The concept of a sex party is, for sure, strange and unknown to many. But things aren’t as racy as you might imagine them to be. These parties have rules, and consent is the most important thing.
Absolutely nothing can happen without you allowing it. And absolutely everything can stop happening when you decide. These are the kinds of parties that will satisfy anyone’s curiosity. And you get to meet pretty great people in the process too.
What Is a Sex Party?
When you think of sex parties, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Probably a wild, chaotic orgy, where people can just hop on one another.
Here’s why that’s wrong.
To get straight to the point, sex parties are private events. However, the sex part that happens can be entirely public. Attendees are allowed to engage in sexual activities with each other — yes, in front of other people. Ultimately, it’s your choice if you’ll let others watch or not.
Contrary to popular belief, the organization of these events is at a very high level. Or at least it should be. Nobody wants to go to a sex party and not know what they’re getting themselves into. That’s why organizers have to be very clear about rules.
Each party can have a particular theme or activity that makes it unique. Parties can be BDSM, casual, group sex, or revolve around specific kinks. What’s most important for organizers to specify is rules about consent and safety.
If you’ve never been to a sex party before, you need to do some research first. Read the invitation carefully and contact the organizers themselves in case you have any questions.
Do You Have to Have Sex With Other Attendees?
It’s common to think you’ll have to have sex with everyone attending. Thankfully, that is not the case.
Different people have different reasons to attend. If other people can go just to watch, then so can you! Being a voyeur is a great kink to have at parties like this. However, watching doesn’t need to turn you on (but doesn’t it?). You can just go because you’re curious.
Some people will go thinking they’re ready to have lots of sex. That can quickly change once they arrive. Sometimes these parties aren’t what you expect, and that’s okay.
So, it’s not exactly mandatory to engage in any activity with others. You should still be careful when picking a party you want to go to. Why? Some require at least some level of participation. If you don’t feel like you’re ready for and comfortable with that, you might want to skip them.
Consent Is a Must!
Consent is the number one rule at every sex party as it is in every situation that involves sex.
That is what makes these parties a safe space. Consent needs to be given for every sexual activity, but you can, of course, revoke it at any time you choose. Sometimes you’ll think you’re up for something but then change your mind.
Similarly, you have to know that others can revoke consent in the same way. There are no hard feelings. Other guests aren’t there to bring your sexual fantasies to life. That’s why these parties, and their guests, shouldn’t be treated as such.
Setting your boundaries before coming can be helpful too. That way, you’ll know what you’re comfortable with. Just like you expect others to respect your limits, you should respect theirs too.
With such a strong accent on consent, these parties don’t seem so scary after all.
It’s Not All About Sex
We’re sure you didn’t imagine sex parties as places you’ll find your new BFF at. But they can be.
Maybe you have a group of friends that aren’t that sex-positive. It can be awkward to talk to them about sex-related topics. So, it’s only natural that you’ll wish for friends that can understand you. But how about a whole community of people who have similar interests? That sounds great to us.
People who attend these parties are mostly sex-positive, openminded, polyamorous, or simply curious. That’s why some say that these parties feel like community events.
Much like every party, there will be some sort of entertainment. So think of your regular house party, except occasionally there are people having sex in front of everyone. And nobody judges them! Everyone just minds their business.
Most of the time, participation isn’t a requirement. Go to this party and enjoy it like any other.
Do People Have Sex With Everyone?
Of course not. You don’t go out and flirt with everyone you see on the street, right? The same logic applies here too.
It depends on who you decide to attend a party with. Most people will have sex with those they came with them. Some are couples looking for other couples. Some are people who like having sex while someone else is watching. You’ll come across a lot of different kinds of sex-havers.
There will be people you’ll find attractive, of course, as well as those you won’t. You decide who you’ll approach and start talking to. But at the same time, people will be approaching you. Asking for consent or just chatting you up.
If you come with a partner, be ready for people to ask if they can join in on the action. It’s up to you and your partner to decide if you’ll let sexy strangers participate.
We bet none of these things was something you expected to learn about sex parties. Why not consider attending one? Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it won’t kill you.
Sex parties are a safe space. They’re a place where you get to explore freely and meet like-minded people. Or, you know, if you just want to have sex, that’s perfectly fine too.
As with almost anything sex-related, there are a lot of misconceptions and stigma around sex parties. We hope that this article served its purpose in showing you that not everything is always what it seems.