Why Is It Important to Talk To Your Partner About Sex?
The idea of talking about sex with your partner may sound scary or embarrassing. Many of us want to avoid it at all costs, but we know it’s an integral part of being in a relationship. Opening up and learning about our partner is how we build healthy bonds, and there’s no other way around.
Besides, most people want to feel sexual intimacy with their partners. That’s probably the only thing that can help us to achieve the greatest sexual pleasure possible. Emotional connection and mind-blowing orgasms are what every human being needs to stay mentally healthy. And the only way to get those is to open up!
Why Is It Important to Talk About Sex With Your Partner?
When it comes to sex, communication isn’t optional, but essential. No matter if you’re in a long-term or friends with benefits type of relationship, it’s always a good idea to talk about it. And there are numerous reasons why communication is essential for a sexual relationship to work out.
However, a lot of people find it scary to share their needs, desires, and fantasies with their partners. It means opening up to someone and creating intimacy. And it will probably make you feel exposed and vulnerable in a relationship.
But there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way. Vulnerability plays a significant role in building healthy relationships. It helps us feel more connected with our partners, and to overcome the fear of being rejected. And all of these things are beneficial for your romantic and sex life.
So, talking about sex can make a huge difference in more than one way. It will lead to building trust, feeling accepted, and understood.
There’s one more important thing — talking about sex will improve your sexual experiences. There’s only one healthy way to get what you want from your partner — being open about it.
Besides, you don’t want your partner or you to have some unmet expectations in the relationship. So, communication is what you need to avoid misunderstandings and disappointment.
What to Talk About?
Sex and communication go well together. And there are a lot of topics you should cover during sex talk. So, before you start the conversation, think about what you have and want to share, and what you wish to ask.
The first thing most people want to discuss is what type of relationship they are interested in. However, you can skip this one and simply be spontaneous. Sometimes, it’s even better that way. But, in case you’re not comfortable with the idea of being in a too serious or casual relationship, you should definitely mention it.
The other important topic to cover is sexual health. You should absolutely ask your partner about their STI status. And of course, you’re supposed to talk about yours, no matter how embarrassing it is. Also, running some tests just to make sure you’re healthy is a good idea.
And it’s also a great idea to mention similar problems that may inflict your relationship or sexual performance. Things like lower back pain or mental health issues may be of importance here. These can make an impact on your sexual activity, and your partner should be familiar with it. It’s also safer to talk about it than to hurt yourself trying to do something you can’t!
If you want to keep safety your priority, you should certainly talk about birth control, and both parties should have a say in this. Besides, leaving your partner to deal with it by themselves is quite selfish. You’re supposed to have a conversation about what type of contraception you want to use, and what’s the safest and most affordable option.
Sharing Your Fantasies and Fetishes With Your Partner
Last but not least, you should share your secret fantasies and desires. And it’s not a bad idea to wait with bringing it up. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable around your partner enough to start this topic. But, it’s still important to cover it at some point. Achieving sexual pleasure is undoubtedly the thing both of you are interested in.
People usually keep their sexual fantasies from their partners out of fear they would be misunderstood. However, the great news is that most of us have them, so there’s actually a big possibility your partner would be up for it! Trying out something new now and then is refreshing and beneficial for your sex life, and everybody knows that.
SEE: Common Sexual Fantasies As Enumerated By Cosmopolitan
That doesn’t mean you should start this conversation with your dirtiest and wildest fantasies. It’s better to start by mentioning something interesting but less shocking. For example, suggesting using some sex toys or having sex in unusual places may be a bit more appropriate. And in case you have a specific fetish, you may want to prepare the field before bringing it up. But whatever you think your partner’s opinion is, you should openly talk about it at one point.
When Is the Right Time to Talk About Sex?
People often think that the right time to talk about sex is the time before, during, or after sex. But, it’s quite the opposite — that is the worst possible time to start this conversation!
When your partner’s in a sexual mood, you should avoid bringing up any of these topics. They may feel like you’re trying to manipulate them into consenting to something they’re not comfortable with doing. Or, even worse, they may come to the conclusion you want to take advantage of them in some way.
Not to mention that they can start feeling insecure about their sexual performance! So, if you want to avoid an uncomfortable situation that may even ruin the entire relationship, you’d want to save a sex talk for a more appropriate moment.
And the best time for this conversation is when you’re relaxed, sitting somewhere, talking about all kinds of things. You can bring it up after one of you mentions something sex-related. When you feel comfortable and ready to open up to each other, that’s when you should start the topic.