TikTok Is the New NSFW Tumblr

If you love watching dirty adult content and homemade porn via social networks, you were probably devastated when Tumblr banned all NSFW posts back in 2018, as it was one of the hottest platforms for users to share 18+ content.  

If you had an account, you surely remember the sheer number of juicy amateur or professional GIFs, videos, and photos lurking on this strangely satisfying part of the internet. Those were truly the glory days of porn on social media! 

But is there a Tumblr alternative? Is TikTok the new NSFW Tumblr? Or is it even better? Let’s find out! 

How TikTok Works? 

TikTok was launched back in 2016 by a Chinese company. However, it only became huge in 2018 after being ranked as the top app in several countries. Currently, it has over 800 million users from around the world. What’s more, the iOS/Android app recently topped 2 billion downloads. So how does it work?

Firstly, TikTok is a video-only blogging platform that limits content to 2, 15, and up to 60 seconds. It evolved out of the Musical.ly app. This app allowed users to show off their lip-synching skills via short videos. The idea of TikTok is more or less the same, and the user-generated clips mainly include gymnastics, lip-syncing to comedy or music, dancing, etc. 

Moreover, there’s a massive number of DIY videos, topic-based discussions, and so on. The app is also full of augmented reality video effects, live streams, and, most importantly, challenges. TikTok challenges are usually generated by the platform’s community or even by advertisers. 

TikTok Restrictions

Unfortunately, many believe that the golden era of NSFW TikTok is over. NSFW content used to be huge on this platform due to a lack of guidelines on sexual content. That allowed upcoming stars like Bree Louise to share nude videos and gain nearly a million followers.

However, in 2018, the app took cues from Instagram and published new terms of use that ban the majority of NSFW content. That included videos that contain sexual acts, content that shows off nude body parts and genitals, fetish videos, violence, and so on. Obviously, this put a stop to most porn on TikTok. 

Originally, users could enjoy horny TikTok dances, and the platform also spawned new adult trends like the “wipe it down” challenge. Plus, the KinkTok hashtag was incredibly popular, and it generated over 400 million views. However, you won’t be able to browse or post any of the naughty and kinky NSFW content on TikTok anymore due to the new guidelines. However, if you truly loved this platform and you used it responsibly, you can still make use of some of the loopholes.

It’s a Horny Place

Even with the previously mentioned restrictions, TikTok is still an incredibly horny place. Its rules do not ban sexy dances, bikinis, topless males, and provoking challenges. Also, it’s still possible to post videos that talk about sex, especially within the KinkTok hashtag. 

Tons of content creators still discuss spanking, choking, bondage, BDSM play, sex toys, and so on. Some, like Pixie-Pie or Nate Hammer, now use TikTok as an educational platform for all things kink and post videos to teach new kinksters and fetish fans. Also, keep an eye out on hot challenges like “are you lost baby girl,” “good girl challenge,” “eye tracker,” or “no gag reflex.” 

Obviously, the adult content ban occurred due to faulty guidelines that allow minors to post explicit content. That was obviously illegal, and it posed a lot of risks of sexual predators. Since you don’t have to be a member to view a user’s posts, it raised many concerns due to dozens of videos featuring underage users dancing in provocative clothes like bikinis. 

The Loophole 

While TikTok also bans content that is “sexually arousing,” it still doesn’t crack down on videos with dancing, teasing, and talking. A lot of amateur and pro pornstars like Mia Khalifa or Owen Gray still use the platform to discuss sex and shake up their followers’ imagination.

You can also find clips of users making out or even models posting JOI (jerk off instructions) videos. Other NSFW content that goes unnoticed features girls who show off tights, leather clothes, leggings, high heels, and other fashion accessories on their bodies. Plus, there are many hot yoga/workout videos that feature attractive models.

As mentioned, many users enjoy TikTok for its educational videos about BDSM, various fetishes, and the kink lifestyle. The “bondage” hashtag is among the most popular, and many TikTok members (singles and couples) use it to post suggestive videos. For example, they show you how to tie various types of knots, bondage belts, and so on. There are lots of rope/hair binding tutorials, clips that show off different bondage positions, and so on. And it’s still possible to stumble upon clips with bouncing boobs or even flashing. 

Ultimately, all of those videos will also end up on PornHub and Reddit’s r/tiktoknsfw. If you want to see NSFW TikTok in its prime, definitely check out some related content on those platforms. 

The Bottom Line

In the end, TikTok isn’t as dirty as it used to be. But that’s understandable due to the risks we’ve mentioned. Nevertheless, if you’re a curious kinkster or someone who enjoys getting teased, definitely check out some of the loopholes. TikTok was undoubtedly the best NSFW Tumblr alternative in its glory days. However, passionate adult content lovers and kinksters are still looking for a new platform that will grant all their wildest wishes.

TV Evolution and Sexual Revolution

How Sex Invaded Television Programming

A long time ago, television was wholesome and pure family fun. Nowadays, we boast that television is in its golden age. Networks and streaming services are trying to push the boundaries of narratives to attract viewers. That means more sex, more adult topics, and more inclusion of marginalized sexual proclivities.

TV Programs Then and Now

You don’t need to look hard to see naked bodies and banging. We’re not talking about the abundance of porn. Just look at “Game of Thrones” — you rarely encounter an episode without a complimentary pair of breasts. Before that, in “Sex and the City,” people religiously watched four women screwing all over New York. That wasn’t always the case, though.

The first TV darling, “I Love Lucy” (1950s), had a married couple sleeping in different beds. This was how much sex was a taboo. In the 1960s, “Bewitched” had a controversial leap, and spouses slept in one bed. So what happened? Primarily, the sexual revolution. Also, marginal groups were fighting for their visibility.

Half a Century of Sexual Revolution

The ‘70s and ‘80s brought the advent of “Jiggly TV.” You could see beautiful girls running and bouncing in skimpy outfits. Do you remember the plot of “Charlie’s Angels”? Of course not, but beautiful girls stayed iconic thanks to it. Furthermore, every episode of “Three’s Company” revolved around the gimmick of how a guy is living with two girls, and it might be sexual.

But the real heat started to rise in the ‘90s. In 1993, “NYPD Blue” started airing with scenes of sex and violence, while “Sex and the City” began airing in 1998. With the advent of reality TV, viewers could see everyday people having actual sex. The 2000s continued the trend, and more and more shows were pushing the boundaries of adult themes and how they were portrayed.

Shifting Content for Shifting Tastes

Buttocks and Boobs, the Forerunners of Nudity

In 1993, “NYPD Blue” showed nudity in the form of David Caruso’s ass. That was a big deal. The show depicted scenes of sex, and, although there was no frontal nudity, you could catch the buttocks of male and female actors.

When it comes to breasts, for a long, time you could only get a glance of a side boob. “Baywatch” was all about that — cleavage. Pamela Anderson and her friends were sensually running and bouncing through the sand. The plot of the show took a back seat, and it was the collection of gorgeous girls that took the audience as a storm.

Sexy Time for Teens and Young Adults

These were all shows that were targeted at mature audiences, but the ‘90s had more aces in their sleeves. Series like “90210” and “Buffy the Vampire” Slayer were aimed at teens and young adults. The big twist was that they tackled teenage sex life. From the very start, “90210” covered topics of losing virginity and showed teenagers as highly sexual.

However, it was “Buffy” that brought some game changers and made an impact. Besides referencing that teenagers had intercourse, this show had a lesbian relationship. Kudos for the LGBTQ+ presentation, but there was something better — the famous scene of Buffy having sex with Spike in which they literally tear down the house while bonking.

New Millennia, New Sexual Frontiers

Though the show started in 1998, “Sex and the City” ushered new standards into the 2000s. Almost every episode had at least one sex scene. The show covered it all: intercourse, masturbation, fetishes, same-sex relationship, threesomes, etc. Fun fact: Sarah Jessica Parker playing Carry was never naked.

The 2000s were the starting point of the sex bonanza that we have today. HBO continued with its trend of racy content with “The Sopranos,” “Rome,” “Game of Thrones,” and “Girls.” Showtime had its fair share of steamy sex with “True Blood,” “Californication,” and “Weeds.” “Masters of Sex” was completely dedicated to the history of sexual liberation. And the list continues to grow.

It seems that after Jannet’s famous wardrobe malfunction in 2004, everything went up the hill with nudity on TV.

The Effect of Reality TV

Expansion of sexual content came hand in hand with the relatively recent trend of reality TV. The first shows started popping up in the ‘90s, and they were usually crime-oriented. Still, there were a couple of steamy ones like HBO’s “Real Sex.” Not as directly, MTV’s “Real World” covered sexual themes and identities very early on.

Some shows had spice from the get-go like Hue Hefner’s “Girl Next Door.” Here, you could see the lifestyle of Playmates, girls living in the Playboy Mansion. The show had glamour and buxom beauties showing skin. Other shows caught on quickly — less clothing, more viewers.

Sexy + Drama = Butts in Seats

It was in the 2000s that reality TV exploded. Producers figured out that drama and sex generate viewership, and usually, one sparks the other. Soon TV shows started gravitating towards intercourse between contestants. “Big Brother” started airing in 2000, but it gave its first humping-under-the-covers show in the 4th season. From there, it somewhat became an unspecified staple of the show.

Other TV shows also relied on gimmicks of sexy drama. “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” revolved around the titular family, and along with them, their love life. “The Real Housewives” series always has the element of cheating and who slept with whom.

Many people say that the era of reality TV has passed. Well, that’s not quite true, as there are constantly new programs popping up, and they tend to spark interest with sex as well. “Too Hot to Handle” is practically a musical chairs game, but with screwing.

The View on Sex on TV

Deeper, Deeper, Deeper Meaning

Oscar Wilde: “Everything in this world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” You might not agree with this statement, but it rings somewhat true when it comes to sex in the media. Scenes and reference to sex in television programs are never solely about intercourse. That’s why so many people get their panties in a twist about it.

The depiction of genitals, lovemaking, and sexual proclivities reflect societal attitudes towards them. As society evolves, so does sex in our media. Many shows deal with sex, but you can easily compare a sex scene from feminist centered “Gray’s Anatomy” and gay favorite “Looking” and see the difference in views.

Sexy Examples

Intercourse on TV has paradoxically become less fetishized and more fetishized at the same time. There’s a certain demystification and down-to-earth element about how people screw in “Girls.” There’s now sensuality and slow jazz behind it. Hanah is simply banging. That is what appealed to the show’s audience.

Who is the most memorable character in the “Sex and the City”? Samantha! You could be invested in Carey’s romance or identify with Charlotte, but it was Samantha who lingers in our collective memory. The reason is that all her sexual adventures and mishaps shared a message to women: be more sexual, take chances, and have fun.

Protecting What They Can

The most powerful entity that influences American TV is FCC (Federal Communication Commission). This independent government body dictates censorship and regulates what is acceptable to be aired. All content must follow the decency standards, and networks follow them religiously.

This means that swear words will be blipped, or characters will scream screw you instead of the F word, and so on. These regulations are also the reasons why shows like “Dexter” have huge body counts, but you get to see only a side boob when it comes to nudity. Still, these laws don’t fall from the sky.

There is a constant tug-of-war between the media station and concerned citizen groups. TV tries to make programs that will attract an audience and thus gain revenue and sponsors. In return, specific groups influence them. For example, conservative Christians would ask the cancellation of sexy tv programs while LGBTQ+ would ask for more inclusion.

‘’With great power comes great responsibility,’’ and with so much sex on our screens comes the responsibility of understanding it and how we consume them all together.

The Hookup Culture in America

There is no doubt that the whole hookup culture in America is having an impact on society. Many young women and men are getting into casual sex every day. Some claim that the entire Western culture is having a significant problem, while others rejoice.

How Is Sex Portrayed in Different Western Media?

People from all over the world are using modern technology and getting their information via the internet, television, and music. Whether we like it or not, the media influences all of us, at least to some extent. However, there is a significant difference between the sex as we see it in the media and sex in real life.

Many TV shows and movies show casual sexual relationships without any real consequences, while many promote something entirely different. The internet, too, is a porn hive, and some of the content can be quite explicit.

In short, not many outlets promote abstinence. The question is — should they?

We all saw people (even fictional ones) having one-night stands, and practicing casual sex so many times that it’s normal. Whether this is the right move or not, time will tell. But there is no doubt that this kind of behavior is almost a standard for many.

Hook Ups vs. Old Dating Habits

Before the whole internet era, people had to date, and they were, let’s be honest, quite conservative. A couple of decades ago, having more than one partner was atrocious, but hooking up with someone today is normal.

Courting that will develop into a relationship is almost dead. Everything is faster now, and many men and women are looking to skip the “boring” part and go straight to the juicy stuff. But the reality is that both ideas have flaws.

Chastity and abstinence were promoted for the wrong reasons. Most people avoided relationships to escape criticism and being scorned by society (and the church). And what can a person do to avoid the whole stigma behind sex other than just wait until they are “ready.”

Over the years, young people showed times and again that they are ready a lot sooner than society and religion claim, and they needed an escape. However, it seems that the whole thing spiraled out of control, and now, we’re at something opposite. People who aren’t having wild sex or hooking up are almost outlaws, and it looks like long-term relationships aren’t that desirable anymore.

What Drives the Hookup Culture?

The whole culture is usually associated with late adolescents in the U.S. Of course, this “movement” doesn’t have to represent sexual culture only, and hooking up can mean anything from kissing to casual sexual encounters.

So, what is the thing that drives the hookup culture? It seems that the answer to this question is both sex and freedom.

High school and college students are sexually active, that’s no secret. But they are probably looking for pleasure without pain. If you engage in casual sex, you won’t have to worry about “catching feelings” in the process. Instead, you can focus on physical pleasure and avoid emotional consequences that can be a part of the relationship. Or so many believe.

For some, it might be an escape, while for others, it is a way of having pleasure and enjoying life. Needless to say, some are tricked or even forced into it while being intoxicated. However, others are looking for a relationship despite everything.

Many adolescents see sex and relationship as two different things, and some people believe that this will lead to further problems. They claim that hookup culture will lead to an inability to form stable and intimate relationships in the future.

The Use of Dating Apps

In the modern era, finding sexual engagement seems easier than ever. Many people seem to skip the whole dating process now that you can contact anyone on the globe. Instead of meeting people in real life, you can chat with them and get to know them without ever seeing them in person.

Today, there are so many dating apps that ease the whole process. Some people say that these dating apps are what created the whole hookup culture. Whether the chicken or the egg came first, there is no doubt that apps like Grindr and Tinder made everything easier.

All you have to do is create a profile, write a little bit about yourself, and start searching for someone with at least similar interests. Once you have found someone you like, you can start chatting and getting to know each other before you meet in person.

The Risk of the Hookup Culture

Many see this kind of behavior as risky and dangerous, and to be honest, there are plenty of things that can go wrong. Without meeting someone in person, you won’t have any idea what they are like. People pretend, lie, and sweet talk online, and reality can be disappointing.

Of course, it would be unfair to ignore the fact that many people are sincere and genuinely looking for a relationship. But either way, being unconscious can have consequences.

Firstly, changing partners and having casual sex can lead to STDs. Casual sex doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but safety should always be a number one priority. Secondly, many people have access to the internet, including predators as well. People can be friendly and kind online, and reality can be the opposite. Casual sex and careless behavior can lead to non-consensual sex and many other problems.

Finally, for some, the whole hookup culture is not working. If the person is looking for a serious relationship, current trends might be problematic. Being denied something you desire or being hurt and emotional can lead to mental health problems like depression.

In reality, for some people out there, hookups are the best thing since sliced bread. But for others, it might turn out to be a nightmare.

I Spy With My Little Eye

In a day and age when the authorities violate our privacy daily, how do we, as a society, look at voyeurism? All sorts of kinks and fetishes come and go, but only one remains as popular as ever. Watching people have sex, undress, or go about their daily routine isn’t a taboo anymore. We do it every day.

Fantasies of all sorts have become widely accepted in recent years, and most of them are harmless. But voyeurism walks that thin line between what’s legal and what’s not. Most of us watch porn videos from time to time. We enjoy seeing others indulge in private affairs, and we follow reality shows like “Big Brother” and “Love Island.” By doing this, we display similar urges and behaviors like Peeping Toms.

The thing is, a voyeuristic fetish is fine when people consent to it, but it’s not always like that. Some people enjoy secretly peeping at others while they’re taking their clothes off or having sex. This makes voyeurism a sex crime, punishable by law. If you want to please your sexual urges but not get in conflict with the authorities, we suggest you keep on reading this article.

Movie buffs will know what happens when you spy on others without their consent. For instance, Kyle MacLachlan’s character in David Lynch’s cult classic “Blue Velvet” gets into trouble for watching Isabella Rossellini and Dennis Hopper have kinky sex in her apartment. Sexual behaviors like voyeurism are delicate, and not everyone will enjoy them.

Therefore, let’s look into the world of peeping toms. It’s a taboo subject, so you should expect all kinds of delicacies further down the road. Shall we?

All About Voyeurism

Generally speaking, voyeurism is a pretty simple kink. Watching people masturbate, have sex, or even undress is what most people will tell you peeping is. For the most part, they’re not wrong. It’s a feeling of arousal while observing others during their time of privacy.

The American Psychiatric Association considers it to be a sort of paraphilia with links to disorders like OCD. But saying it’s dangerous to your physical or mental health can be a bit misleading. Millions of people find pleasure in watching men and women undress or engage in sexual activities. Therefore, it’s key to separate examples of acceptable and dangerous forms of peeping.

In 19th-century France, brothels would offer their customers a chance to watch other people have sex. Of course, they would be hidden from their subjects, making the whole thing pretty creepy. This service would cost more than your usual run-of-the-mill session with a prostitute. Hence, in some ways, you could say it was a big thing among the elites.

This kink became widely popular after WWII. Back then, most fetishes and fantasies were deemed shameful, but when a certain movie brought light to the idea of watching others without their consent, the public went bonkers. The movie was, of course, Hitchcock’s “Rear Window” with Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly.

The Good and Bad Kind of Voyeurism

It’s pretty easy to understand what’s good and what’s bad voyeurism, but just in case, we’ll walk you through both scenarios. The first one is when everyone involved in the event has given their consent to another person watching them while being intimate. And obviously, the bad scenario is when someone’s doing it secretly. Voyeuristic behaviors are many, and as such, it’s important to analyze them all.

Some people are sexually aroused by being hidden from others and watching them during their private time. This in itself is rather wrong for many reasons, but in short — it’s illegal. It’s a sexual offense, and the law sees it as harassment. In other words, it’s a form of stalking, similar to those you see in horror movies.

On the other hand, some people get off while being someone’s object of desire. They give full consent to strangers watching them getting undressed, masturbating, or even having sex with their partner. Voyeurism is also pretty close to the cuckold fetish, which involves one person observing their partner having sex with a third party. But cucks usually enjoy more than just watching — they enjoy humiliation and all other sorts of things.

Either way, it’s important for you not to fall into the bad category. If you have a need to stalk people, it’s probably time to speak to a therapist and begin treatment for the voyeuristic disorder. Besides psychotherapy, you can also join a support group. In many ways, these gatherings can help you talk and share your feelings with others who have the same problem.

Making Voyeurism Fun

For any fetish to work in real life, it’s key to make it fun. The same goes for peeping. There are many ways in which people make voyeurism interesting while still keeping it legal. One of the most popular types of watching others being intimate is cuckolding and hotwifing.

In case you don’t know anything about these two kinks, we’ll shortly explain. Cuckolding is a sexual practice that consists of a man willingly watching his partner have sex with another person. He’s the cuck, and she’s the hotwife. Ideally, the third person is a stranger.

Sure, not everyone is up for this kind of action, but it works closely with peeping. And if it sparks some interest in you, you can always pretend to be hiding while they do it. For instance, watching them while hiding behind a door or even through the window. Either way, everyone who participates will have the impression of a classic Peeping Tom tale.

Just remember that it’s all about consent. If someone doesn’t agree with what you’re proposing, you should abandon the idea. It’s not okay to watch others without them knowing. No matter if you think you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s a violation of privacy, and the law treats it as stalking and sexual harassment.

Swinging With the Times

Nowadays, it’s not strange to hear stories about couples experimenting with all sorts of kinks and fetishes. The older you get, the more mundane and dull your relationship becomes. And seeing how that applies to most couples, it’s no wonder why they try to spice up and enhance their private lives in many ways.

Since the turn of the century, societal stigmas and taboos have become less important to your run-of-the-mill folks. The sex revolution came and went, and with it, it brought certain freedoms for all kinds of groups and individuals. But besides your regular LGBTQ rights, the public began to embrace hetero fantasies too. Now, one of the most popular fantasies and lifestyles in the United States is swinging.

It’s a deliberate choice by both partners to be open to having intimate relationships with other people. Sometimes they’d go out together looking for potential partners, while at other times, they’d do it solo. It’s the quintessential open sexual relationship, lacking any kind of jealousy and judgment. But unfortunately, it’s not for everyone.

Sharing your hubby or wife is a bit more delicate than some other kinks. It’s pretty easy to hurt each other’s feelings. Therefore, we think it’s best to go into detail about everything that surrounds this type of relationship. So, without further ado, we suggest you hold on tight because it’s going to be one Hell of a ride!

What Is the Swinger Lifestyle?

Essentially, swinging is a kink that implies that both partners enjoy having multiple sex partners outside their relationship. Although it might seem like cheating at first glance, it’s far from it. Both partners agree to it, making swinging the basis of an open relationship. It’s pretty much built on mutual consent and trust.

In some cases, these couples attend swinger parties, looking for other couples to swap partners with. Moreover, it’s a great chance to experience group sex or even an orgy. But it’s not always necessary. Sometimes, swinging means that just one partner will be involved — with their significant other’s approval, of course.

This variation leads to other fetishes, for example, cuckolding and hotwifing, meaning you can have a swinger wife, while her husband enjoys being humiliated by letting her do all the “cheating.” Either way, it’s important to have full consent for a swinging relationship to work. Otherwise, it’s just cheating, and that’s wrong.

Why Do Couples Want to Try It?

It’s not uncommon to hear about couples breaking up because of bad sex. In most cases, the lack of quality action in the bedroom lies at the root of most divorces and breakups. It’s unfortunate, but that’s just how couples work. You want excitement and fun — otherwise, you’d feel like you’re wasting your time.

And for your life to get back on track, it’s key you spice it up a bit. Moreover, it’s important to escape the routine. Therefore, it’s easy to understand why men and women would like to experiment with such a relationship style. It allows you to have new experiences with several sexual partners, breaking the shackles of conservative concepts of a monogamous relationship.

All in all — it’s new, and it’s interesting. And in some ways, swinging helps partners bond even more on a different level. It can rejuvenate your affection for each other while still helping you experiment with different people. But like other fantasies, it’s not for everyone.

Possible Issues and Dangers Couples May Encounter

Although swinging can prove to be the best decision you could make, it can come with issues and dangers too. Sex and intimacy are delicate things, meaning they carry burdens of their own. One of them is jealousy. No matter how strong a person you are, sharing your partner with someone else can be the beginning of many problems.

Lots of couples go into swinging, thinking they can handle the pressure of swapping their partner. Sometimes, it works great — if there’s no ego involved. But, most of the time, it doesn’t go so smoothly. Having a number of sexual partners can distort your confidence and feeling of self-worth. In other words, it’s a make or break situation.

On the other hand, sexually transmitted infections can become a common problem if you don’t take care of things the right way. For instance, having group sex without adequate preparation and hygiene will surely lead to health issues. Therefore, it’s important to change condoms if you’re having sex with multiple partners.

Also, having sex with strangers you met at a swinger club isn’t the smartest idea. Unless you know them, you can’t be sure if they carry something dangerous with them. Experienced and mature swingers always make sure their new friends are clean and safe to be around.

Is the Swinger Lifestyle for You?

If you’re looking to try swinging, you should ask yourself a couple of questions first. Since we’ve said it’s not for everyone, it would be dishonest to promote it without making sure you could handle it. To have a successful sex life that involves fantasies and kinks, it’s key you thoroughly prepare your relationship for it.

Firstly, how bad is your sex life? In case you’re having less and less pleasure with your partner in bed, you should bring it up in conversation. Try something simpler first, like maybe role-play or sex toys. And in case that doesn’t fulfill your desires, suggest something like experimenting with other people.

On the other hand, ask yourself how jealous are you in real life? If you resemble a person who’s more possessive than others, swinging will only make even more problems for the two of you. Trust is the basis of swapping partners. If you don’t see yourself or your partner accepting that you could have more fun with a third person, forget about an open relationship.

Also, the question of sexual health is as important as anything else. Many people go into swinging without considering the dangers of STIs. That’s not really what you should do if you want to have a good time. Therefore, choosing partners not only by their looks in a swinger club, but also by getting to know them will prove to be more important.

11 Surprising Facts About America’s Sexual Behaviors

Wow, to be a paid researcher in America to study the sexual behaviors of Americans. Now that’s an enticing job. Where do I sign up?

Apparently I’d pop on over to Indiana University, as that’s where the latest batch of researchers come from who have something to say about sex in America.

As a part of the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, researchers surveyed a national, representative sample of 5,865 people ages 14 to 94. They recently published some of their initial findings in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

So without further ado, here are 11 surprising facts about sex in America from that survey.

1. Condom use is pretty uncommon.

Only 1 in 4 acts of sexual intercourse are protected by a condom. Condoms are, of course, the most reliable method to avoid sexually transmitted diseases while having sex.

2. Yet condom use is just as pleasurable.

Contrary to popular wisdom, people surveyed said that their sexual pleasure was just as intense with condom use as it was without. This included arousal, pleasure and achieving orgasm.

3. Americans like variety.

The researchers detailed over 40 different combinations of sexual activity when participants were asked to describe their most recent sexual encounter.

4. Men orgasm from regular intercourse most often; women, on the other hand, require more of a variety of sexual acts — which may include oral or vaginal intercourse — in order to orgasm.

While men enjoy sexual variety as much as women, they don’t need it in order to enjoy an orgasm. Women appear to benefit more from such variety in order to make the likelihood of an orgasm greater.

5. Men don’t have a clue when it comes to their partner’s orgasm.

While 85 percent of men reported their partner had an orgasm during their most recent sexual activity, only 64 percent of women reported having had an orgasm. The difference of over 20 percent isn’t accounted for simply because of same-sex relationships.

It suggests men overestimate their partner’s sexual experience, or that women are leading men to believe they orgasmed in order to end the sexual activity earlier.

6. Most teenagers aren’t doing it as often as you might think.

Only 27 percent of teens surveyed said they had intercourse in the past 3 months.

7. More of us try out a gay, lesbian or bisexual activity once in our lives than you might think.

The survey found that 8 percent of men and 7 percent of women identified themselves as either gay, lesbian or bisexual. But this percentage was much lower than the proportion of individuals who had said “Yes” to a question about whether they’ve ever had same-gender sexual activity in their lives. Many people may experiment with such activities, but stick to what feels best for them in the end.

8. You don’t have to be young to enjoy sex.

Older adults report enjoying and engaging in sexual activity nearly as much as younger adults. In fact, the survey found that men in their 50s are having more sex than teenage males.

9. Men give oral sex as much as they receive it.

Contrary to popular wisdom again, men — especially older men — give as much oral sex to women as women give to men. While the difference is greatest in the 20 to 24 year old range (with only 55 percent of men saying they’ve given it in the past year, compared to 74 percent of women), the tables turn as we age. In the 30 to 39 age range, 69 percent of men report having given a woman oral sex, while only 59 percent of women have.

In other age ranges, the differences are far less greater, with only a few percentage points differentiating the two groups.

10. Both men and women masturbate.

The vast majority of people at all age groups masturbate. Yes, men regularly out-masturbate women, with over 80 percent of 20 to 29 year old men reporting masturbating in the past year. But women are no slackers either, with 64 to 72 percent of women in the same age range reporting masturbating in the past year.

11. We all like to brag.

Similar to point #5, more people in the survey said they received oral sex than those who said they gave oral sex. If everyone was telling the truth, these numbers should be within a few percentage points of one another.

Instead, we see many discrepancies. For instance, 70 percent of women claimed to have received oral sex from a man in the 20 to 24 age group, but only 55 percent of men admitted to having given oral to a woman. Sixty-two percent of men aged 40 to 49 claimed they received oral, but only 53 percent of women said they gave it.

Apparently saying you’ve received oral sex is still more attractive than saying you’ve given it.

Understanding Men’s Sex Drive

Do you ever wonder what goes on inside men’s heads? Is it true that they never think about anything other than sex? Are they not interested in romance? We wonder about the same things.

There are so many questions about why men are so casual about sex. They participate in it with random people too, like it’s no big deal. What’s all that about? Truth be told, it’s not even their fault.

Testosterone is to blame. We all have some levels of testosterone in our bodies. Men, however, have a lot more. It regulates a lot of things and helps the production of sperm too. So, it’s not that it only keeps men horny.

In this article, we will debunk the stereotypes of men’s libido and tell you what is really going on.

The Male Sex Drive Stereotypes

You know what they say about men — they only think about sex all the time. Nothing else interests them. Is that really the truth? Let’s take a look at some stereotypes.

The list of stereotypes that surround men and their sex drive is anything but short. They’re portrayed as sex-crazed beings all over media too. Not only that, but the media caters to those stereotypes as well. How? Anime is one example, and we don’t even have to explain why.

Don’t get us wrong — loving sex is completely normal. But do men really think about sex and nothing else all day long? The stereotypes suggest so, but studies show that guys might just be more comfortable thinking about sex and expressing their thoughts.

Some of the other stereotypes include men masturbating more than women, as well as needing less time to orgasm. Have you ever heard that men are “more open to hook-ups”? That is another stereotype — studies show that women are just as open to it, but when approached in safe environments.

Last but not least — are men really less romantic than women? Men have feelings too, and they shouldn’t be looked over. Dudes can definitely be romantic when they want to.

What Is Testosterone?

Testosterone is the so-called “male” hormone, but there is so much more to it than that. Here’s why it’s essential.

Testosterone plays a significant role when it comes to men’s libido. It’s a hormone whose production happens mainly in the testicles. Besides making you horny, testosterone has other vital roles too.

Having healthy testosterone levels ensures:

  • Your male sex organs developing
  • Production of sperm and red blood cells
  • Your voice deepening when you hit puberty
  • Body hair growth

Testosterone levels are the highest in your late teens. After that, they begin their decline. That means that older men have a lower libido than younger men.

Still, that doesn’t mean they lose all interest in sex — it merely means they need some time to get going.

What Are The Causes of Low Libido?

The list of causes of low libido in men is even longer than the list of stereotypes.

Many men experience issues with libido in their lifetime. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, especially when many things can affect it. The loss of libido happens with age, so it doesn’t need to be tied to a medical condition. However, sometimes it can point in that direction.

We know low testosterone levels affect libido, but what about other things? Stress and depression can greatly affect it too. When dealing with mental health issues, it’s best to see a professional. In turn, antidepressants can also take a toll on your sex drive. If you notice that happening, your doctor should be able to offer you an alternative.

Another cause of low libido is chronic illnesses such as high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, and even organ failure. If you’re experiencing sleep problems (like sleep apnea), your sex drive is in danger as well.

Lastly, alcohol and drug abuse can mess up your overall health. That, of course, includes libido. Make sure you do anything in your power to stay at optimal overall health, and a healthy sex drive will follow along.

What Is Erectile Dysfunction?

Many men experience not just low libido but also erectile dysfunction (ED) at some point in their lives.

Simply put, erectile dysfunction is the inability to get an erection or maintain it. That definitely affects your sexual performance. To be frank, it makes you incapable of any kind of performance at all.

Although ED isn’t the cause of any other conditions, it can take a toll on other aspects of your life. It can affect your relationships, self-esteem, and ability to get your partner pregnant. Of course, it’s also very stressful and can cause depression.

That sounds like a big circle of moodiness and stress. Thankfully, it can be treated and managed so visit your doctor on time.

  • Diabetes
  • Heart issues
  • Kidney disease
  • High blood pressure
  • Testosterone deficiency
  • Relationship problems
  • Depression, stress, and/or anxiety
  • Sleep disorders
  • Alcohol and drug abuse

Although ED isn’t the cause of any other conditions, it can take a toll on other aspects of your life. It can affect your relationships, self-esteem, and ability to get your partner pregnant. Of course, it’s also very stressful and can cause depression.

That sounds like a big circle of depression and stress. Thankfully, it can be treated and managed, so visit your doctor on time.

Summary

Contrary to popular belief, not all men are the same. We, as human beings, are all different. Stereotypes of any kind are ridiculous, and so are those of men’s sex drive.

We cannot generalize how men view sex. Some enjoy it more than others, but so do women. Men’s sex drive varies from one individual to another. But there are some parts of it that we can all understand.

A lot of it has to do with testosterone levels, so it’s not exactly all their fault. Low libido and ED are also issues a lot of men face and shouldn’t be shamed for.

The Rise Of Hookup Sexual Culture On American College Campuses

Cultures – sets of widely-endorsed ideas reflected in rules for interaction and in the organization of our institutions – are powerful social forces that shape individuals’ lives. In colleges, “hookup culture” refers to the idea that casual sexual encounters are the best or only way to engage sexually; and the concept also refers to rules of social interaction that facilitate casual sexual encounters and organizational arrangements that support these encounters.

Today, almost all of America’s residential college campuses are characterized by a hookup culture – large and small, private and public, secular and religious, and left- and right-leaning campuses. Students must contend with this culture even if they are not especially sexually active. In fact, many students are not very active. The average graduating senior reports hooking up just eight times in four years; and a third do not hook up even a single time. Individual students can and do opt out of casual hookup sexual encounters, but few can escape dealing with that culture.

The Origins of Campus Hookup Culture

Hookup culture is simply the newest stage in the evolution of sexual norms and behavior in America. Its roots lie in the early city life of the 1920s, the first time in U.S. history that young people routinely socialized in mixed-sex groups beyond the supervision of chaperones. This created intense media interest in “youth culture,” as college attendance became accessible to large swaths of the American population. After a couple hundred years of conflict with higher education administrators, fraternity men starting setting the social tone. Their way of experiencing college life – irreverent, raucous, and fun-oriented – was suddenly the way to experience college. Attending college was linked to the idea of being young and carefree.

The Great Depression and World War II put the brakes on such revelry. Young women initiated “going steady” – monogamous, long-term dating – as a response to the loss of young men to war. Yet going steady, a kind of “premature monogamy,” was both new and short-lived as an ideal for young people. By the 1960s, young people wanted to remain unattached; and meanwhile gay men in urban enclaves were experimenting with a culture revolving around “hookups.” The dangers of AIDs infection slowed down the process by which casual sexual encounters spread into the mainstream for young people, but this process proceeded nonetheless.

In 1978, the popularity of the movie Animal House ratcheted up expectations for college fun. Beer and liquor companies took advantage of the moment, spending millions in the 1980s to convince students that drinking was a mainstay of college life. Starting in 1984, when the U.S. government financially pressured the states to raise the legal drinking age from 18 to 21, control over campus parties was thrown increasingly into the hands of men who occupied large, private fraternity residences in which they could flagrantly break liquor laws. Fraternities again came to dominate the campus social scene. Until today, this remains true on many campuses, but many other factors also reinforce hookup sexual norms on college campuses – including media portrayals of college life, rising individualism, and a halfway transition toward women’s equality. Social and sexual norms originally embodied in fraternities now reign supreme on college campuses.

The Destructive Sense that Hookup Sex is the Only Option

After hearing about hookup culture, many older Americans wonder whether today’s students actually enjoy it. The answer appears to be both yes and no, as I learned from years of fieldwork. About a quarter of students thrive in this culture, at least at first. They enjoy hooking up and adapt well to hookup culture’s rules calling for fun and casual, short-term encounters. At the same time, about a third of students opt out altogether; they find hookup culture unappealing and would rather not have sex at all than have it the way this culture mandates. The remaining students are ambivalent, dabbling in hookups with mixed results. Overall, about one in three students say that their intimate relationships have been “traumatic” or “very difficult to handle.” Many of them experience a persistent malaise, a deep, indefinable disappointment. And one in ten says that they have been sexually coerced or assaulted in the past year.

Notably, my research suggests that hookup culture is a problem not because it promotes casual sex, but because it makes a destructive form of casual sexual engagement feel compulsory. Students who don’t hook up can end up being socially isolated, while students who do engage in this way are forced to operate by a dysfunctional set of rules. Hookup culture encourages a punishing emotional landscape, where caring for others or even simple courtesy seem inappropriate, while carelessness and even cruelty are allowed. At its worst, it encourages young men and women to engage in sexual competitiveness and status-seeking while meeting impossible standards of attractiveness. It privileges immediate pleasure-seeking and heightens risks that students will become either perpetrators or victims of sexual crimes.

Changing Power Structures and Destructive Sexual Norms

Understanding that the forces shaping sexual relationships on campuses are cultural – that problems lie not so much in particular encounters as in hookup culture overall – is the first step toward clarifying what needs to change. Because culture is a type of shared consciousness, many people need to work together to make changes happen. And they can. Especially because of the strong ties in student bodies, campuses can transform themselves faster than one might suspect.

Research shows that today’s young people are more open, permissive, earnest, hopeful for the future, and welcoming of diversity than any other generation in memory. They are well-positioned to usher in the next new sexual culture. But colleges as institutions must change, too. Institutions of higher education need to put substantial resources and time into shifting cultural norms in two ways: promoting casual sexual encounters that involve an ethic of care, and diversifying the kind of sexual encounters that are seen as possible and good. Colleges also need to change the institutional arrangements that give too much power to subsets of students who are most enthusiastic about hookup culture and who benefit from it at the expense of their peers. Doing this may mean disbanding fraternities and sororities as they have existed, because as long as these organizations and their ethics remain power bastions on U.S. campuses, hookup culture will persist.

Talking About Sex Is What Every Relationship Needs to Survive

Why Is It Important to Talk To Your Partner About Sex?

The idea of talking about sex with your partner may sound scary or embarrassing. Many of us want to avoid it at all costs, but we know it’s an integral part of being in a relationship. Opening up and learning about our partner is how we build healthy bonds, and there’s no other way around.

Besides, most people want to feel sexual intimacy with their partners. That’s probably the only thing that can help us to achieve the greatest sexual pleasure possible. Emotional connection and mind-blowing orgasms are what every human being needs to stay mentally healthy. And the only way to get those is to open up!

Why Is It Important to Talk About Sex With Your Partner?

When it comes to sex, communication isn’t optional, but essential. No matter if you’re in a long-term or friends with benefits type of relationship, it’s always a good idea to talk about it. And there are numerous reasons why communication is essential for a sexual relationship to work out.

However, a lot of people find it scary to share their needs, desires, and fantasies with their partners. It means opening up to someone and creating intimacy. And it will probably make you feel exposed and vulnerable in a relationship.

But there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way. Vulnerability plays a significant role in building healthy relationships. It helps us feel more connected with our partners, and to overcome the fear of being rejected. And all of these things are beneficial for your romantic and sex life.

So, talking about sex can make a huge difference in more than one way. It will lead to building trust, feeling accepted, and understood.

There’s one more important thing — talking about sex will improve your sexual experiences. There’s only one healthy way to get what you want from your partner — being open about it.

Besides, you don’t want your partner or you to have some unmet expectations in the relationship. So, communication is what you need to avoid misunderstandings and disappointment.

What to Talk About?

Sex and communication go well together. And there are a lot of topics you should cover during sex talk. So, before you start the conversation, think about what you have and want to share, and what you wish to ask.

The first thing most people want to discuss is what type of relationship they are interested in.  However, you can skip this one and simply be spontaneous. Sometimes, it’s even better that way. But, in case you’re not comfortable with the idea of being in a too serious or casual relationship, you should definitely mention it.

The other important topic to cover is sexual health. You should absolutely ask your partner about their STI status. And of course, you’re supposed to talk about yours, no matter how embarrassing it is. Also, running some tests just to make sure you’re healthy is a good idea.

And it’s also a great idea to mention similar problems that may inflict your relationship or sexual performance. Things like lower back pain or mental health issues may be of importance here. These can make an impact on your sexual activity, and your partner should be familiar with it. It’s also safer to talk about it than to hurt yourself trying to do something you can’t!

If you want to keep safety your priority, you should certainly talk about birth control, and both parties should have a say in this. Besides, leaving your partner to deal with it by themselves is quite selfish. You’re supposed to have a conversation about what type of contraception you want to use, and what’s the safest and most affordable option.

Sharing Your Fantasies and Fetishes With Your Partner

Last but not least, you should share your secret fantasies and desires. And it’s not a bad idea to wait with bringing it up. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable around your partner enough to start this topic. But, it’s still important to cover it at some point. Achieving sexual pleasure is undoubtedly the thing both of you are interested in.

People usually keep their sexual fantasies from their partners out of fear they would be misunderstood. However, the great news is that most of us have them, so there’s actually a big possibility your partner would be up for it! Trying out something new now and then is refreshing and beneficial for your sex life, and everybody knows that.

SEE: Common Sexual Fantasies As Enumerated By Cosmopolitan

That doesn’t mean you should start this conversation with your dirtiest and wildest fantasies. It’s better to start by mentioning something interesting but less shocking. For example, suggesting using some sex toys or having sex in unusual places may be a bit more appropriate. And in case you have a specific fetish, you may want to prepare the field before bringing it up. But whatever you think your partner’s opinion is, you should openly talk about it at one point.

When Is the Right Time to Talk About Sex?

People often think that the right time to talk about sex is the time before, during, or after sex. But, it’s quite the opposite — that is the worst possible time to start this conversation!

When your partner’s in a sexual mood, you should avoid bringing up any of these topics. They may feel like you’re trying to manipulate them into consenting to something they’re not comfortable with doing. Or, even worse, they may come to the conclusion you want to take advantage of them in some way.

Not to mention that they can start feeling insecure about their sexual performance! So, if you want to avoid an uncomfortable situation that may even ruin the entire relationship, you’d want to save a sex talk for a more appropriate moment.

And the best time for this conversation is when you’re relaxed, sitting somewhere, talking about all kinds of things. You can bring it up after one of you mentions something sex-related. When you feel comfortable and ready to open up to each other, that’s when you should start the topic.

What Is Bisexual?

What Counts as Bisexual?

Humans have a strong need to explain everything clearly. However, we can’t do it in every single case. The world isn’t black and white but comes in a variety of colors. Sometimes, it confuses and disturbs us.

Bisexuality is one of these things that don’t fit any box we’re familiar with. And since we’re not sure how to describe or see it, we often come with a banal explanation. For that reason, it’s always a good idea to learn a bit more about things we don’t understand.

Here’s everything you wanted to know about bisexuality.

Who Is classified as bisexual?

Some people have the power to be attracted to both men and women. In general, they are the ones who identify as bisexual. Sometimes, their attraction to people doesn’t even have anything to do with gender and sex.

But it’s not always that simple.

Bisexual people define their sexual orientation in various ways. But, regardless of their way of experiencing and expressing it, it’s often seen as something between being gay and straight. And this type of bisexual definition brings up some questions that are a bit tricky to answer. For instance, where exactly is that middle ground called bisexuality? And where’s the limit between being gay or straight and bisexual?

Of course, people wanted to give a straight and simple answer to these questions. So, today you can even do a test online that describes your sexual orientation. It’s called the Kinsey scale. By answering a few questions about your sexual experiences and behaviors, you can learn where you are on the scale from 0 (purely heterosexual) to 6 (strictly homosexual).

However, human sexuality is a bit more complicated than that. And it shouldn’t be experienced or seen as a number on a scale from 0 to 6. So, it may be simpler to look at bisexuality as something that goes outside of the box. The sexual attraction is something each one of us experiences in our own unique way.

Do Bisexuals Like One Gender Over the Other?

As we mentioned, bi people feel sexual and romantic attraction to people of various genders. Sometimes, they don’t care at all about the sex or gender of the person they’re attracted to. In that case, they may even prefer to identify themselves as pansexuals.

But in other cases, bisexuality has a lot to do with being attracted to masculinity and feminity in one or multiple genders. It’s possible that a bisexual person likes both of these, but prefers one over the other. And sometimes, it can also mean that they prefer one gender over the other. But it’s important to mention that bisexuality comes in a variety of forms. So, no one can come up with a rule that stands for everyone in the bisexual community.

Is Bisexuality Just a Phase?

Some people like to engage in sexual experiments, and they’ve possibly tried out a bunch of things, including sex with the person of the same sex. But this doesn’t classify them as gay or bi. Bisexuality isn’t just sexual experimenting or a phase — it’s rather a part of sexual identity and the way some of us present and see ourselves. It doesn’t necessarily change with time.

Science says our sexual orientation depends on genetics, hormones, and the environment in which we grew up. Furthermore, humans aren’t the only animals that can be gay or bi. That means that it’s not something we can simply choose, or suddenly decide to change.

So, the bi person who settled down with one partner didn’t simply decide to turn gay or straight. Human sexuality doesn’t really work that way.

In most cases, bi folks still present themselves as bisexuals, and the way they express this part of themselves in a relationship varies and depends on many factors.

How Bisexuals Deal With Relationships

Communication is an integral part of every relationship. Sometimes, it’s the only way you can deal with issues and obstacles. Even though bisexuality itself isn’t a problem, it can still cause difficulties in a relationship. For that reason, talking about it is crucial.

However, it can happen that a person isn’t wholly aware of their sexual orientation. That can certainly cause a serious issue in the relationship. Again, talking about these sorts of things and being open-minded is the only solution.

So, if the person is aware and open about their sexual identity and preferences, the relationship can work out. But sometimes, bi people wish to keep the relationship more casual. That means that they should look for partners who are comfortable with it. And finding the right person to hook up with isn’t that simple even in more usual circumstances.

But there’s no reason why a bi person can’t fall in love with someone and be in a healthy relationship. As long as both parties are open and accepting, any relationship can work out. Whether they decide to keep it more casual or to settle down, bisexuality isn’t something that stands in their way.

Sex in Bisexuality

It’s a general opinion that if you’re bisexual, sex can’t be perfect — ever. People think that a bi person always needs more to get sexual satisfaction. Or, even better, some think that they always need to have threesomes to reach sexual pleasure. But these are prejudices, not reality. Bisexuals, too, can have an amazing sexual experience with one partner. (See these threesome sex tips)

However, it can be a bit tricky when they are with someone of a gender they are less attracted to. But this doesn’t have to be a serious problem. If they’re ready to work on it and communicate, they can find the right solution.

And there are more ways they can solve that type of issue. For instance, they can decide to keep a relationship open and casual. Or, they can go with polygamy and find the third partner. And certain sex toys can be helpful and fun to use, like strap-ons, dildos, male masturbators, vibrators, etc.

So, the opinion that bisexuality means being unable to reach mind-blowing orgasms is far from the truth. Again, a certain sexual orientation itself isn’t an issue — it can become a problem only if we see it and approach it that way.